This is part 1 of a new series: Unconventional Resources for the Engaged.

You’re getting married. Fantastic.

There are approximately 18 gazillion websites out there ready to sell you pretty stationary and silly cake toppers.

But you know what?  Ehhh…

The abosolute, bar-none, #1 top most important thing you could be doing right now is this: talking with your partner, and then talking with your families.

I know – picking out cocktail napkins is more fun.  But the talking, now, will impact the rest of your life.  The napkins won’t.

And the trouble is, no one teaches us how to have an honest, deep conversation.  Sure, miscommunication fuels half the romantic comedies in Hollywood, but marriage is real, and hard, and it’s much much better when you’re on the same page with your sweetie, and when you’re clear and honest with your families about this new family you’re building.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone, say, a relationship coach or two, would sit down and explain to you how to figure out what’s important for you to say, how to talk so that you can be heard, and how to really listen?

You lucky duck – they already have!

In Conversations for Making Moments Matter, Judy Elkin and Pearl Mattenson lay out strategies for talking about the important moments in our lives (weddings, natch, but also graduations, funerals, even vacations!) with the people who matter most to us.

Ironically, the people you’re closest to can be the hardest to talk to, and the important moments can be the hardest to talk about!  That’s why you can get into a minute analysis of last night’s Mad Men with you mom, but never quite bring yourself to tell her that your vision of your wedding doesn’t match up with hers.

Conversations for Making Moments Matter is like having a coach in your pocket, walking you through those conversations.  Yes, they can be awkward and weird – but they can also be important and painful and awesome.   This book gives you the tools to approach these conversations, and strategies for when conflict arises, so that you can feel confident treading territory that may be new for you.

This is part 1 of a new series, Unconventional Resources for the Engaged.  Please leave a comment with your thoughts on this resource and other resources you’d like to see.  Coming up: books on money and imperfection – hot topics!