Making Moments Matter: A Guide to Conversations

This is part 1 of a new series: Unconventional Resources for the Engaged.

You’re getting married. Fantastic.

There are approximately 18 gazillion websites out there ready to sell you pretty stationary and silly cake toppers.

But you know what?  Ehhh…

The abosolute, bar-none, #1 top most important thing you could be doing right now is this: talking with your partner, and then talking with your families.

I know – picking out cocktail napkins is more fun.  But the talking, now, will impact the rest of your life.  The napkins won’t.

And the trouble is, no one teaches us how to have an honest, deep conversation.  Sure, miscommunication fuels half the romantic comedies in Hollywood, but marriage is real, and hard, and it’s much much better when you’re on the same page with your sweetie, and when you’re clear and honest with your families about this new family you’re building.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone, say, a relationship coach or two, would sit down and explain to you how to figure out what’s important for you to say, how to talk so that you can be heard, and how to really listen?

You lucky duck – they already have!

In Conversations for Making Moments Matter, Judy Elkin and Pearl Mattenson lay out strategies for talking about the important moments in our lives (weddings, natch, but also graduations, funerals, even vacations!) with the people who matter most to us.

Ironically, the people you’re closest to can be the hardest to talk to, and the important moments can be the hardest to talk about!  That’s why you can get into a minute analysis of last night’s Mad Men with you mom, but never quite bring yourself to tell her that your vision of your wedding doesn’t match up with hers.

Conversations for Making Moments Matter is like having a coach in your pocket, walking you through those conversations.  Yes, they can be awkward and weird – but they can also be important and painful and awesome.   This book gives you the tools to approach these conversations, and strategies for when conflict arises, so that you can feel confident treading territory that may be new for you.

It’s an eb00k, so you can download it and start reading in minutes.  Go, now.
This is part 1 of a new series, Unconventional Resources for the Engaged.  Please leave a comment with your thoughts on this resource and other resources you’d like to see.  Coming up: books on money and imperfection – hot topics!
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“She *gets* relationships” A review from Pearl Mattenson

I met Pearl Mattenson when we both wrote for (now defunct) Carrie + Danielle.  Though we still haven’t met “in person,” we’ve been internet buddies ever since.  When I saw her profiled on Fear.Less (go read it, it’s awesome) recently, I had to drop her a congratulatory note.  We got to chatting and turns out we were both working on book projects.

Pearl is a leadership and relationship coach, with all this training and years of experience, so I was waiting with bated breath to see what she’d think of my book, which is a lot more about relationships than it is about tulle and bows.  Just the other day, she posted this on Amazon:

A “meaningful” gift to couples… [5 stars]

Suzyn is a talented writer with a down home sense of humor so I knew I would laugh. (I did). I also knew she was wise beyond her years and I would learn from this book. (I did). What I had not realized is that even without the years of training I have put in, she gets relationships and how to create meaning- in her bones. What I love about this book is that it gets at the core of what is important.

Suzyn gets right to the point- It is not about the magazine driven mayhem that wedding planning has become. It is about you and your partner. It is about building a life and setting the tone for how that life together will begin. The book is content rich AND a workbook. And because the questions Suzyn asks are so fundamental and important- it is more than a workbook. It becomes a repository for your (you & your partner’s) most heartfelt dreams and closely held values.

The beautiful cover ensures this will be a keepsake that stays with the wedding album and will be pored over for years to come.

I think I’ve read this 50 times since she posted it – I’m completely blown away and so so honored!

Stay tuned for my review of Pearl’s book, Conversations for Making Moments Matter.  It’s fantastic.